DVS Offerings

Friday, Aug 23
12:08 AM

Criss-Cross Applesauce: The Ballad of Billy Jesusworth (DVS)

American Dad

When Roger breaks his ankle, Francine convinces Stan to let him play in his basketball league. Meanwhile, Steve sings a song that parodies R. Kelley's "Trapped in the Closet."

TV-14

1:08 AM

New Kidney in Town (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter ruins his kidneys after concocting his own energy drink, prompting Brian to volunteer donating his organs; as President Obama plans on visiting the high school, Chris plagiarizes Meg's thoughts for an essay on hope.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Anxiety Optimization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon becomes concerned that his cushy lifestyle is impacting his professional progress and keeping him from achieving scientific renown, so he asks the gang to make life more difficult for him.

TV-PG

3:08 AM

Comic Book Store Regeneration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Amid the excitement of Stuart reopening his comic-book store, Howard gets some unsettling news; and after teaching Sheldon how to "let it go," Penny doesn't practice what she preaches when she learns something maddening about Amy.

TV-PG

5:08 AM

Intimacy Acceleration, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An experiment designed to make participants fall in love piques Penny and Leonard's interest, so they decide to put it to the test. Meanwhile, Leonard, Amy, Raj and Emily have an encounter with a "zombie".

TV-PG

6:08 AM

Chopper, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Wuntch lets Peralta work his dream case, Holt worries she's setting him up to fail; Amy, Rosa and Gina help Terry host a field trip.

TV-14

8:08 AM

Slump, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Jake starts accumulating unsolved cases, the other detectives worry his losing streak will rub off on them; Amy, Rosa and Gina run a program for at-risk youth; Boyle helps Sgt. Jeffords with a case.

TV-14

9:08 AM

Halloween (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Unhappy Amy must wear a costume to go on patrol with Charles; Jake bets Holt he can steal his Medal of Valor.

TV-14

10:08 AM

And the New Boss (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline hire an intern, Ruth, to help take care of some of the dirty work in preparation of opening their new cupcake shop, Max has trouble with her new managerial role.

TV-14

11:08 AM

And the Silent Partner (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Sophie is depressed after being swindled by the contractor in charge of building her dream house, so Max offers to make her a silent partner in the cupcake business but Caroline and Sophie have very different visions for the company.

TV-14

4:08 PM

Boyfriend Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine vie for time with his new friend, baseball player Keith Hernandez.

TV-PG

5:08 PM

One with the Ring, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe helps Chandler pick out an engagement ring for Monica.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

One with the Proposal Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

One with Rachel's Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.

TV-PG

8:08 PM

One with Rachel's Assistant, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

One with the Nap Partners, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.

TV-PG

10:08 PM

One with All the Candy, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant. Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.

TV-PG

11:08 PM

Garfield and Friends (DVS)

American Dad

Stan brings President Garfield back to life in order to teach Hayley about history. Steve writes for the school newspaper.

TV-14

Saturday, Aug 24
12:08 AM

Next of Pin (DVS)

American Dad

Stan and Steve start bowling together to have more quality time and Steve gets discovered for his bowling talent. Klaus holds a contest to test whether Roger or Hayley have the worse attention span.

TV-14

1:08 AM

Road to the North Pole Part 1 & 2 (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian and Stewie take their adventures to the North Pole to seek out Santa Claus.

TV-14

3:08 AM

Wedding Crashers (DVS)

Divorce mediators John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are business partners and lifelong friends who share one truly unique springtime hobby--crashing weddings! Whatever the ethnicity of the wedding party--Jewish, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Hindu--the charismatic and charming duo always have clever back stories for inquisitive guests and inevitably become the hit of every reception, where they strictly adhere to their proven "rules of wedding crashing" to meet and pick up women aroused by the very thought of marriage. At the tail end of another successful season of toasting brides and grooms, Jeremy learns that the daughter of Treasury Secretary William Cleary and his wife, Kathleen, is getting married in what is sure to be the Washington D.C. social event of the year. After infiltrating the lavish affair, John and Jeremy quickly set their sights on two bridesmaids, Claire and Gloria Cleary. With the lavish reception in full swing, Jeremy works his game plan to perfection in seducing Gloria, but John's flirtation banter with Claire is unexpectedly impeded by her pompous, Ivy League boyfriend Sack. Having uncharacteristically fallen hard and fast for Claire, John convinces a resistant Jeremy to bend the crashing rules and accept an invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound. Once at the palatial waterfront estate, John and Jeremy endure a multitude of comical mishaps at the hands of the dysfunctional members of the Cleary family, but also learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships.

TV-14

8:08 AM

Miss Congeniality (DVS)

After botching up an undercover assignment involving Russian mobsters, less-than-graceful FBI Agent Gracie Hart is placed on desk duty. However, when a terrorist, known only as The Citizen, threatens to disrupt the Miss America pageant, Gracie, unfortunately, is the only agent attractive enough to go undercover posing as Miss New Jersey.

TV-PG

4:08 PM

Limo, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and George commandeer a limousine headed for a neo-Nazi rally.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

Miss Congeniality (DVS)

After botching up an undercover assignment involving Russian mobsters, less-than-graceful FBI Agent Gracie Hart is placed on desk duty. However, when a terrorist, known only as The Citizen, threatens to disrupt the Miss America pageant, Gracie, unfortunately, is the only agent attractive enough to go undercover posing as Miss New Jersey.

TV-PG

8:08 PM

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (DVS)

Parenting and marriage is becoming tougher and tougher for Toula and her husband Ian. Not only has their relationship lost some of its spark, but they're also dealing with a rebellious teenage daughter who clashes with Greek traditions. On top of that, Toula must contend with aging parents and the endless needs of cousins and friends. When a shocking family secret comes to light, the entire Portokalos clan makes plans to come together for an even bigger wedding than before.

TV-14

10:08 PM

Wedding Crashers (DVS)

Divorce mediators John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are business partners and lifelong friends who share one truly unique springtime hobby--crashing weddings! Whatever the ethnicity of the wedding party--Jewish, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Hindu--the charismatic and charming duo always have clever back stories for inquisitive guests and inevitably become the hit of every reception, where they strictly adhere to their proven "rules of wedding crashing" to meet and pick up women aroused by the very thought of marriage. At the tail end of another successful season of toasting brides and grooms, Jeremy learns that the daughter of Treasury Secretary William Cleary and his wife, Kathleen, is getting married in what is sure to be the Washington D.C. social event of the year. After infiltrating the lavish affair, John and Jeremy quickly set their sights on two bridesmaids, Claire and Gloria Cleary. With the lavish reception in full swing, Jeremy works his game plan to perfection in seducing Gloria, but John's flirtation banter with Claire is unexpectedly impeded by her pompous, Ivy League boyfriend Sack. Having uncharacteristically fallen hard and fast for Claire, John convinces a resistant Jeremy to bend the crashing rules and accept an invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound. Once at the palatial waterfront estate, John and Jeremy endure a multitude of comical mishaps at the hands of the dysfunctional members of the Cleary family, but also learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships.

TV-14

11:08 PM

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (DVS)

Parenting and marriage is becoming tougher and tougher for Toula and her husband Ian. Not only has their relationship lost some of its spark, but they're also dealing with a rebellious teenage daughter who clashes with Greek traditions. On top of that, Toula must contend with aging parents and the endless needs of cousins and friends. When a shocking family secret comes to light, the entire Portokalos clan makes plans to come together for an even bigger wedding than before.

TV-14

Sunday, Aug 25
1:08 AM

Wedding Crashers (DVS)

Divorce mediators John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey are business partners and lifelong friends who share one truly unique springtime hobby--crashing weddings! Whatever the ethnicity of the wedding party--Jewish, Italian, Irish, Chinese, Hindu--the charismatic and charming duo always have clever back stories for inquisitive guests and inevitably become the hit of every reception, where they strictly adhere to their proven "rules of wedding crashing" to meet and pick up women aroused by the very thought of marriage. At the tail end of another successful season of toasting brides and grooms, Jeremy learns that the daughter of Treasury Secretary William Cleary and his wife, Kathleen, is getting married in what is sure to be the Washington D.C. social event of the year. After infiltrating the lavish affair, John and Jeremy quickly set their sights on two bridesmaids, Claire and Gloria Cleary. With the lavish reception in full swing, Jeremy works his game plan to perfection in seducing Gloria, but John's flirtation banter with Claire is unexpectedly impeded by her pompous, Ivy League boyfriend Sack. Having uncharacteristically fallen hard and fast for Claire, John convinces a resistant Jeremy to bend the crashing rules and accept an invitation to an extended weekend party at the Cleary family compound. Once at the palatial waterfront estate, John and Jeremy endure a multitude of comical mishaps at the hands of the dysfunctional members of the Cleary family, but also learn a few unexpected lessons about love and relationships.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Fortification Implementation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Sheldon and Amy build a blanket fort, they come to a big crossroad in their relationship. And Wolowitz is shocked when a man claiming to be his half-brother he never knew he had shows up at his front door. And, when Penny is invited to appear on Wil Wheaton's podcast, she and Leonard have a huge, on-air argument.

TV-PG

4:08 AM

Leftover Thermalization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An electrical short thaws the last meal that was cooked by Mrs. Wolowitz, and the gang ponders what to do with it, while Sheldon and Leonard's work is featured in a magazine, but only one receives credit.

TV-PG

5:08 AM

Fortification Implementation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

When Sheldon and Amy build a blanket fort, they come to a big crossroad in their relationship. And Wolowitz is shocked when a man claiming to be his half-brother he never knew he had shows up at his front door. And, when Penny is invited to appear on Wil Wheaton's podcast, she and Leonard have a huge, on-air argument.

TV-PG

7:08 AM

My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (DVS)

Parenting and marriage is becoming tougher and tougher for Toula and her husband Ian. Not only has their relationship lost some of its spark, but they're also dealing with a rebellious teenage daughter who clashes with Greek traditions. On top of that, Toula must contend with aging parents and the endless needs of cousins and friends. When a shocking family secret comes to light, the entire Portokalos clan makes plans to come together for an even bigger wedding than before.

TV-14

9:08 AM

And Too Little Sleep (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline enlist the gang from the diner to help them bake throughout the night in order to fulfill a giant cupcake order.

TV-14

5:08 PM

One Where They're Up All Night, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag. Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

Divergent (DVS)

In a future world, people are segregated into different factions based on their personalities. Tris Prior is categorized as Divergent and warned she will never fit into one of these groups. When Tris learns of a conspiracy to destroy all Divergents, she has to find out why being in that classification is so dangerous before it's too late.

TV-14

Monday, Aug 26
12:08 AM

This Is 40 (DVS)

Pete and Debbie are approaching a milestone meltdown. After years of marriage, Pete lives in a house of all females: wife Debbie and their two daughters, 8-year-old Charlotte and 13-year-old Sadie. As he struggles to keep his record label afloat, he and Debbie must figure out how to forgive, forget and enjoy the rest of their lives before they kill each other.

TV-14

3:08 AM

Intern, The (DVS)

Ben Whittaker is a 70-year-old widower who has discovered that retirement isn't all it's cracked up to be. Seizing an opportunity to get back in the game, he becomes a senior intern at an online fashion site, founded and run by Jules Ostin.

TV-14

4:08 AM

This Is 40 (DVS)

Pete and Debbie are approaching a milestone meltdown. After years of marriage, Pete lives in a house of all females: wife Debbie and their two daughters, 8-year-old Charlotte and 13-year-old Sadie. As he struggles to keep his record label afloat, he and Debbie must figure out how to forgive, forget and enjoy the rest of their lives before they kill each other.

TV-14

7:08 AM

This Is 40 (DVS)

Pete and Debbie are approaching a milestone meltdown. After years of marriage, Pete lives in a house of all females: wife Debbie and their two daughters, 8-year-old Charlotte and 13-year-old Sadie. As he struggles to keep his record label afloat, he and Debbie must figure out how to forgive, forget and enjoy the rest of their lives before they kill each other.

TV-14

3:08 PM

One with Joey's New Brain, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star. Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.

TV-PG

4:08 PM

One with the Cheap Wedding Dress, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.

TV-PG

5:08 PM

One with Ross & Monica's Cousin, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica's gorgeous cousin unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

One with the Vows, The (DVS)

Friends

As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

One with Monica & Chandler's Wedding Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day.

TV-PG

8:08 PM

Father's Daze (DVS)

American Dad

The Smith family forgets to celebrate Father's Day, and so to make it up to Stan, they plan out the perfect day. Stan uses a CIA device to erase their memories and have them continually plan perfect days for him.

TV-14

9:08 PM

Enlightenment of Ragi-Baba, The (DVS)

American Dad

Hayley takes Roger with her to a meditation center and he quickly takes over, becoming one of the world's leading authorities on meditation. Stan and Steve become apprentices as they are taught the art of making sushi.

TV-14

10:08 PM

Mission Impos-slug-ble (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When Louise's extensive Burobu card collection gets confiscated at school, she devises a tricky plan to get them back. Meanwhile, Bob must give a eulogy for an old acquaintance, despite an unfortunate incident that happened years ago.

TV-PG

11:08 PM

Human Flesh (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Bob rallies the team to cook up some business for Grand Re-Re-Re-Opening of Bob's Burgers, sending middle child Gene to push samples in the streets, eldest daughter Tina to work the grill and youngest daughter Louise to staff the counter.

TV-14

Tuesday, Aug 27
12:08 AM

House Full of Peters, A (DVS)

Family Guy

Lois has a girls' night out with Bonnie and Donna where they decide to prank call their husbands. After Lois's friends ridicule their spouses, Lois decides to pretend to be Peter's long lost daughter.

TV-14

1:08 AM

Ratings Guy (DVS)

Family Guy

The Griffins are chosen to be a Neilsen family, and Peter takes advantage of the chance to reformat TV to his taste - except that everyone else hates his changes.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Yug Ylimaf (DVS)

Family Guy

Brian discovers that he can use Stewie's time machine to pick up girls, but when he tries to cover his tracks he accidentally reverses the flow of time.

TV-14

3:08 AM

Lois Comes Out of Her Shell (DVS)

Family Guy

After celebrating another birthday, Lois adopts a younger look and lifestyle - much to Peter's chagrin; a vengeful turtle targets the Griffins.

TV-14

4:08 AM

Jesus, Mary and Joseph! (DVS)

Family Guy

As Christmas approaches...Peter tells the story of the Nativity, with friends and family members appearing as biblical characters.

TV-14

5:08 AM

Closer You Get, The (DVS)

Final Space

Gary discovers a way he may be able to communicate with Quinn. Tribore reconnects with a resistance fighter who has an ulterior motive.

TV-14

6:08 AM

Good Samaritan, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then wants to date her.

TV-PG

7:08 AM

Episode 91288 (DVS)

Conan

Guest: Henry Winkler

TV-14

8:08 AM

Old School (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake gets to spend the day with his hero, a former crime reporter; Terry and Charles work with Rosa on how she comes across on the witness stand.

TV-14

9:08 AM

Christmas (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Holt starts getting death threats, Jake takes charge of his security; Amy tries to get a precinct Christmas photo; Terry gets his mojo back.

TV-14

10:08 AM

And Just Plane Magic (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max scores tickets to a music awards show in Los Angeles, she and Caroline end up flying on a private jet with Grammy-nominated rapper 2 Chainz.

TV-14

11:08 AM

And Not-So-Sweet Charity (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

In danger of losing their cupcake shop, Max and Caroline approach Caroline's rich but callous Aunt Charity for help.

TV-14

4:08 PM

Keys, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Kramer visits too much, so Jerry asks for his spare key back.

TV-PG

5:08 PM

One with Chandler's Dad, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father. Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

One with the Red Sweater, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

One with the Videotape, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.

TV-PG

8:08 PM

One with the Stain, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel wants to find her own apartment. Phoebe is ecstatic when Eric dumps Ursula to date her.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

One with Monica's Boots, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler is angry when Monica buys expensive boots. Phoebe tries to get tickets to a Sting concert.

TV-PG

10:08 PM

One Where Chandler Takes a Bath, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica blabs her suspicions when she mistakenly believes Joey is infatuated with Phoebe.

TV-PG

11:08 PM

Bahama Mama (DVS)

American Dad

Stan is upset at the idea of becoming a grandfather after Hayley and Jeff announce they're trying to have a baby. Steve and Klaus join a drug gang after Steve decides to take being an uncle extra seriously.

TV-14

Wednesday, Aug 28
12:08 AM

Ninety North, Zero West (DVS)

American Dad

The Smith family must rescue Steve after he is kidnapped and taken to the North Pole. There, Santa Claus is using children to mine for precious stones that he needs to perform an ancient ritual.

TV-14

1:08 AM

Friends of Peter G. (DVS)

Family Guy

After Peter is arrested for a public intoxication, a judge sentences him to attend AA meetings-where Peter and Brian convince their AA brethren that the best place to get drunk is at the meeting.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Trip Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and George try to save Kramer from a serial-murder accusation.

TV-PG

3:08 AM

Graduation Transmission, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Wolowitz questions his engineering abilities when he and Sheldon can't get a drone to fly. Meanwhile, a canceled flight nearly prevents Leonard from giving the commencement address at his former high school. And Raj pits his parents against each other when his father cuts him off financially.

TV-PG

4:08 AM

Commitment Determination, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

In the Season 8 finale, Leonard and Penny are pressured to set a wedding date by Sheldon, whose relationship with Amy has taken an interesting turn.

TV-14

5:08 AM

Separation Oscillation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

To ease Penny's mind, Leonard pays a visit to the woman he kissed during his expedition to the North Sea, while Sheldon's breakup with Amy leads him to retaliate by shooting a special episode of "Fun with Flags".

TV-PG

6:08 AM

Cooler (DVS)

New Girl

Nick and Schmidt go out on a bro's night but quickly become infatuated with and highly competitive over a beautiful woman attracted to sadness. Meanwhile, Winston falls for a girl with absolutely no interest in him, which only makes him more attracted to her. Then, Jess' decision to have a night alone in the loft doesn't go as planned and involves another round of the drinking game "True American," and a surprising development in her relationship with one of the loft mates.

TV-14

7:08 AM

Episode 91289 (DVS)

Conan

Guest: Natasha Lyonne

TV-14

8:08 AM

Landing Gear (DVS)

New Girl

In the Season 5 finale, Schmidt's last ditch effort to convince Cece's mother to attend the wedding leads to complications that might result in him missing the big day.

TV-14

9:08 AM

Hubbedy Bubby (DVS)

New Girl

Jess and Cece bet Schmidt they can rustle up voters for the Presidential election, while Winston gives Nick pointers about modern phone sex.

TV-14

10:08 AM

And the Big Hole (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

After Han fires Caroline for insulting his diner, Max tries to coax Caroline into apologizing.

TV-14

11:08 AM

And the Extra Work (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline are invited to be extras on a popular TV show shooting a scene in Han's diner, but when Caroline catches the director's eye, he offers her an actual role with strings attached.

TV-14

4:08 PM

Ticket, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry tries to evade a vengeful writer; George woos an executive.

TV-PG

5:08 PM

One with the Secret Closet, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey realizes his intense feelings for Rachel are excluding Ross from the joys of impending fatherhood.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

One with the Tea Leaves, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel devises a lie about her unborn child that she hopes will break the silence between her and Joey. Phoebe reads tea leaves and predicts she will soon encounter the man of her dreams.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

One with Joey's Interview, The (DVS)

Friends

When Soap Opera Digest requests an interview, Joey enlists his friends to make sure he does not say anything that could cost him his role.

TV-PG

8:08 PM

One with the Cooking Class, The (DVS)

Friends

A food critic blasts Monica's cooking in a newspaper review; a cute saleswoman riles Rachel when she flirts with Ross; Phoebe coaches Chandler for a job interview.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

10:08 PM

One Where No One Proposes, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey finds himself engaged to Rachel soon after she delivers her baby girl, while Phoebe assumes Ross is the one who proposed.

TV-PG

11:08 PM

Witches of Langley, The (DVS)

American Dad

Steve and his friends take up witchcraft to gain power and popularity at school. Stan and Klaus become obsessed with remembering 90s bands.

TV-14

Thursday, Aug 29
12:08 AM

Casino Normale (DVS)

American Dad

Francine steals from the CIA and pretends to be a sexy supervillain to incite Stan to be more seductive. Roger tricks Hayley and Steve into trapping Jay Leno so he can take revenge on him.

TV-14

1:08 AM

Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair (DVS)

Family Guy

When Bonnie leaves town, Meg cares for Joe and ends up with a crush on him; Stewie accidentally creates an identical twin who is pure evil.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Watch Part 2, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry tries to buy back a discarded watch, a gift from his parents.

TV-PG

3:08 AM

2003 Approximation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon reverts back to 2003 when he learns that Leonard and Penny are moving in together. Meanwhile Howard and Raj form a band to play at the comic book store.

TV-PG

4:08 AM

Helium Insufficiency, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

A helium shortage leads Sheldon and Leonard to do business with a dealer in the black market in order to acquire some of the element for an experiment they need to complete.

TV-PG

7:08 AM

Episode 91290 (DVS)

Conan

Guest: Niecy Nash

TV-14

8:08 AM

James Wonder (DVS)

New Girl

Jess' efforts to land the soon-to-be-open principal's job requires her to impress the difficult president of the Parents' Council. Meanwhile, Winston's undercover skills are tested; and Nick can't seem to find the perfect wedding gift for Schmidt and Cece.

TV-PG

9:08 AM

Last Thanksgiving (DVS)

New Girl

Jess and the gang pull out all the stops to guarantee their Thanksgiving festivities are a success but things take an unexpected turn when Robby and Schmidt's heartbroken dad show up. Meanwhile, Nick learns Regan is putting off her move-in date, and Winston deals with his heroic injury.

TV-PG

10:08 AM

And the Window of Opportunity (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline offer to deep-clean a previously hidden part of the diner, they discover something that could re-launch their cupcake business.

TV-14

11:08 AM

And the Kickstarter (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline tries to raise money for an expensive pair of new pants through an online fundraising site. Meanwhile, Max's new smartphone comes between her and Caroline.

TV-14

2:08 PM

Virgin, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Hours before a network meeting, Jerry and George draw a blank.

TV-PG

3:08 PM

Airport, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

On a flight, Jerry meets a beauty, while Elaine sits next to a smelly guy.

TV-PG

4:08 PM

Visa, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

A deportee blames helpful Jerry; Kramer returns from baseball fantasy camp.

TV-PG

5:08 PM

One with the Pediatrician, The (DVS)

Friends

Emma's pediatrician drops her as a patient because of Rachel's constant calls.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner, The (DVS)

Friends

Famished Phoebe waits for tardy friends to arrive at her birthday dinner.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

One with Ross's Inappropriate Song, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Joey find a videotape while checking out Richard's apartment; Ross sings Emma an off-color lullaby.

TV-PG

8:08 PM

One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel crosses swords with her temporary replacement at the shop; Phoebe wreaks havoc on the set of Joey's soap opera.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

One Where Monica Sings, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica exults in the applause she receives on karaoke night, unaware that the cheering audience can see through her blouse.

TV-PG

10:08 PM

One with the Mugging, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey stumbles upon a way to impress a famous actor during an audition; Ross learns the identity of a long-ago mugger; Chandler accepts an internship at a shoe company.

TV-PG

11:08 PM

Camp Campawanda (DVS)

American Dad

Steve is upset when Snot threatens their summer camp fun by becoming a counselor-in-training. Hayley and Jeff are suspicious of Roger when he organizes a Burning Man reenactment in the yard for their anniversary.

TV-14

Friday, Aug 30
12:08 AM

Life and Times of Stan Smith, The (DVS)

American Dad

Stan becomes addicted to "dying" after Roger tricks him into thinking he had a heart attack. Klaus takes Steve to Arizona State University for a college visit, where a fraternity hazes him.

TV-14

1:08 AM

Tiegs for Two (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter clashes with the owner of a dry cleaning business after he loses one of his white shirts; Brian infuriates Quagmire when he beings dating his old girlfriend, Cheryl Tiegs.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Platonic Permutation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Now just friends, Sheldon and Amy spend Thanksgiving at the aquarium; a reluctant Wolowitz volunteers at a soup kitchen with Bernadette, Raj and Emily; and Penny realizes that Leonard knows a bit more about her than he's let on.

TV-PG

3:08 AM

Opening Night Excitation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Prof. Proton visits Sheldon in a dream and gives him Obi-Wan Kenobi-like advice about whether to go see the new "Star Wars" film or spend the time with newly reunited girlfriend Amy on her birthday.

TV-PG

4:08 AM

Episode 91291 (DVS)

Conan

TV-14

5:08 AM

Sales Call Sublimation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny entices Leonard to meet with a psychiatrist and the results are surprising; Stuart moves out of the Wolowitz house and Howard and Bernadette find themselves at a loss.

TV-PG

6:08 AM

Johnny and Dora (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

When Jake and Amy go under cover to catch an identity thief, the investigation brings them closer; the precinct says an unexpected goodbye.

TV-14

7:08 AM

Episode 91291 (DVS)

Conan

TV-14

8:08 AM

Pontiac Bandit (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

One of Rosa's perps has information on a car thief Jake has been after for years; the station struggles to accommodate Charles' needs; Holt tries to find two puppies a home.

TV-14

9:08 AM

Party, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The officers go to Holt's house to celebrate his birthday but end up making a poor impression on his husband.

TV-14

10:08 AM

And the Cronuts (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Max and Caroline start losing business to the new cronut craze (half-croissant, half-donut), they come up with their own trend: cake fries.

TV-14

11:08 AM

And the Girlfriend Experience (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Han asks Max and Caroline to convince a stripper to pretend to be his girlfriend when his mother visits from Korea.

TV-14

4:08 PM

Outing, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry tries to refute reports that he and George are lovers.

TV-PG

5:08 PM

One with the Memorial Service, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross and Chandler trade barbed insults on their alma mater's Web site.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

One with Rachel's Dream, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's visit to a soap opera set inspires her to dream about Joey; Chandler takes Ross on a weekend getaway after Monica cannot take time off from work.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

One with the Fertility Test, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler run into an old acquaintance when they secretly go to a fertility clinic; Ross helps Joey woo the same professor he wants to date.

TV-14

8:08 PM

One in Barbados Part 1, The (DVS)

Friends

The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

One After Joey and Rachel Kiss, The (DVS)

Friends

In Barbados, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe eavesdrop on their friends' passionate encounters; Monica styles her hair to look like a blowfish; Phoebe and Mike rekindle their romance.

TV-PG

10:08 PM

One with Ross's Tan, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel and Joey nervously anticipate their first real date; Monica and Phoebe try to avoid an obnoxious friend with a fake British accent; Ross emerges from a tanning booth with a two-toned appearance.

TV-PG

11:08 PM

Family Plan (DVS)

American Dad

Francine reconnects with her birth family when she starts craving the experience of having a big family. Stan becomes a Picker based on his obsession with American Pickers.

TV-14

Saturday, Aug 31
12:08 AM

Kloger (DVS)

American Dad

Roger and Klaus start having a secret affair after they accidentally end up on an online date together. Steve tries to catch Hayley's pink eye to get out of doing a fitness test at school.

TV-14

1:08 AM

Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)

Family Guy

Using the time machine, Stewie and Brian accidentally travel outside the space-time continuum, where Stewie causes an explosion that creates the universe; Bertram travels back in time to kill one of Stewie's ancestors: Leonardo da Vinci.

TV-14

2:08 AM

Sexy Dance Fighting (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When Tina develops a crush on the new martial arts instructor in town, she joins the class and ends up shirking her responsibilities at the restaurant. Bob finds out what's going on and decides to take matters into his own hands.

TV-PG

3:08 AM

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones (DVS)

Set ten years after the events of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace", not only has the galaxy undergone significant change, but so have our familiar heroes Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and Anakin Skywalker, as they are thrown together again for the first time since the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo. Anakin has grown into the accomplished Jedi apprentice of Obi-Wan, who himself has transitioned from student to teacher. The two Jedi are assigned to protect Padme whose life is threatened by a faction of political separatists. As relationships form and powerful forces collide, these heroes face choices that will impact not only their own fates, but the destiny of the Republic.

TV-PG

6:08 AM

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith (DVS)

The galaxy is weary after three long years of war. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi have become legendary heroes in their campaigns against the droid forces of the evil General Grievous. Anakin and his secret wife, Padme Amidala, have been separated for months, and he finally reunites with her to learn that she is pregnant. He is plagued by visions of her dying in childbirth, haunting images of a possible future. Anakin is determined to stop her from dying--no matter the cost. This leads Anakin down a dark path to commit terrible deeds. Obi-Wan Kenobi must face his former apprentice in a ferocious lightsaber duel on the fiery world of Mustafar.

TV-14

4:08 PM

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (DVS)

Sci-fi adventure which takes place before the birth of Luke Skywalker, featuring the friendship between the young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, who would later become Darth Vader. The galactic government has been weakened, and when the peaceful planet of Naboo is threatened by the giant Trade Federation, it seems that nobody will step in to defend Queen Amidala and her people. Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to find a settlement and discover the extent of the planet's peril. In the course of their adventures, they find a young slave, Anakin, whom Qui-Gon senses is destined to bring balance to the Force. Against Obi-Wan's suspicions, he decides to train Anakin as a Jedi Knight.

TV-PG

6:08 PM

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (DVS)

Luke Skywalker and his loyal band team up to do battle with Empire's forces who decide to enact revenge. Yet, Luke is empowered by the Jedi master Yoda in learning to master the "Force", something he will need when he meets Darth Vader in a startling confrontation.

TV-PG

7:08 PM

Star Wars: A New Hope (DVS)

In a distant galaxy, a long time ago, young Luke Skywalker assembles his motley crew of allies including space rogue Han Solo and two "droids" -- C3PO and R2D2 -- to rescue Princess Leia, the rebel leader of her planet, from the clutches of the evil Empire as embodied by its enforcer Darth Vader.

TV-PG

9:08 PM

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (DVS)

Luke Skywalker and his loyal band team up to do battle with Empire's forces who decide to enact revenge. Yet, Luke is empowered by the Jedi master Yoda in learning to master the "Force", something he will need when he meets Darth Vader in a startling confrontation.

TV-PG

Sunday, Sep 1
12:09 AM

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (DVS)

Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and their small army of friends rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the menacingly ugly Jabba the Hutt and go on to do battle with the Empire, even after Darth Vader has broken off in his own rebellion.

TV-PG

1:09 AM

Barbarian Sublimation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny becomes addicted to an online game based on the world of Conan the Barbarian and persistently pesters Sheldon for advice.

TV-PG

2:09 AM

Euclid Alternative, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An intervention is used to try to force Sheldon to overcome his fear of driving.

TV-14

3:09 AM

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (DVS)

Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and their small army of friends rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the menacingly ugly Jabba the Hutt and go on to do battle with the Empire, even after Darth Vader has broken off in his own rebellion.

TV-PG

4:09 AM

Barbarian Sublimation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Penny becomes addicted to an online game based on the world of Conan the Barbarian and persistently pesters Sheldon for advice.

TV-PG

5:09 AM

Euclid Alternative, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

An intervention is used to try to force Sheldon to overcome his fear of driving.

TV-14

6:09 AM

Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (DVS)

Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and their small army of friends rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the menacingly ugly Jabba the Hutt and go on to do battle with the Empire, even after Darth Vader has broken off in his own rebellion.

TV-PG

7:09 AM

And the Life After Death (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline learns that her childhood nanny passed away and brings Max with her to attend the funeral. But once there she discovers that the woman never spoke of Caroline to her own family.

TV-PG

9:09 AM

And the Pastry Porn (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max applies to the Manhattan School of Pastry and bakes a tart for the entrance exam.

TV-14

10:09 AM

And the Life After Death (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline learns that her childhood nanny passed away and brings Max with her to attend the funeral. But once there she discovers that the woman never spoke of Caroline to her own family.

TV-PG

4:09 PM

One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel convinces her sister to baby-sit over Ross' protests; Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.

TV-PG

8:09 PM

One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel convinces her sister to baby-sit over Ross' protests; Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.

TV-PG

9:09 PM

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (DVS)

The First Order, risen from the ashes of the defeated Empire, seeks to destroy the last remaining Jedi, Luke Skywalker, who has gone missing. Skywalker's former pupil, evil Kylo Ren, leads the hunt while the Resistance races to find Skywalker first. General Leia Organa guides heroic newcomers, including Rey, defected Stormtrooper Finn, pilot Poe Dameron, and globular droid BB-8, along with Han Solo and Chewbacca, as the dark side clashes with the light over the fate of the galaxy.

TV-14

Monday, Sep 2
12:09 AM

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (DVS)

The First Order, risen from the ashes of the defeated Empire, seeks to destroy the last remaining Jedi, Luke Skywalker, who has gone missing. Skywalker's former pupil, evil Kylo Ren, leads the hunt while the Resistance races to find Skywalker first. General Leia Organa guides heroic newcomers, including Rey, defected Stormtrooper Finn, pilot Poe Dameron, and globular droid BB-8, along with Han Solo and Chewbacca, as the dark side clashes with the light over the fate of the galaxy.

TV-14

3:09 AM

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (DVS)

In a time of conflict, a group of unlikely heroes band together on a mission to steal the plans to the Death Star, the Empire's ultimate weapon of destruction. This key event in the Star Wars timeline brings together ordinary people who choose to do extraordinary things, and in doing so, become part of something greater than themselves.

TV-14

6:09 AM

Star Wars: The Force Awakens (DVS)

The First Order, risen from the ashes of the defeated Empire, seeks to destroy the last remaining Jedi, Luke Skywalker, who has gone missing. Skywalker's former pupil, evil Kylo Ren, leads the hunt while the Resistance races to find Skywalker first. General Leia Organa guides heroic newcomers, including Rey, defected Stormtrooper Finn, pilot Poe Dameron, and globular droid BB-8, along with Han Solo and Chewbacca, as the dark side clashes with the light over the fate of the galaxy.

TV-14

3:09 PM

One with the Birth, The (DVS)

Friends

When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.

TV-PG

4:09 PM

One with the Embryos, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.

TV-PG

5:09 PM

One After "I Do", The (DVS)

Friends

The reception following Monica and Chandler's wedding is almost upstaged by the news that a member of the group might be pregnant.

TV-PG

6:09 PM

One with the Baby Shower, The (DVS)

Friends

During her baby shower, Rachel realizes she is unprepared to be a mother and accepts her mother's offer to move in to help with the child.

TV-PG

7:09 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

8:09 PM

One with the Fertility Test, The (DVS)

Friends

Monica and Chandler run into an old acquaintance when they secretly go to a fertility clinic; Ross helps Joey woo the same professor he wants to date.

TV-14

9:09 PM

Last One Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.

TV-PG

10:09 PM

Sheesh! Cab, Bob? (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

Tina is desperate to get her first kiss at her 13th birthday party. But after Louise breaks the deep fryer, Bob is forced to takes a second job as a late-night cab driver to pay for Tina's party. The situation worsens when the parents of Tina's crush refuse to let their son attend the party, and Bob has to do everything in his power to save his daughter's big day.

TV-14

11:09 PM

Art Crawl (DVS)

Bob's Burgers

When Linda asks Bob to let her sister hang her paintings in the restaurant for Art Week, Bob finds he's forced to contend with the city's Art Council, a shady troop of intimidating old ladies who control the art exhibited around town. Meanwhile, Louise, Gene and Tina are thrilled by all the attention their own art receives in the restaurant.

TV-14

Tuesday, Sep 3
12:09 AM

Space Cadet (DVS)

Family Guy

After Chris enrolls in a NASA space camp, Stewie accidentally launches the Griffins into outer space.

TV-14

1:09 AM

Giggity Wife, The (DVS)

Family Guy

After accidentally marrying a prostitute, Quagmire pretends to be gay to end the relationship.

TV-14

2:09 AM

Chris Cross (DVS)

Family Guy

After Meg sees Chris stealing money out of Lois' purse, she blackmails him into doing everything she says.

TV-14

3:09 AM

Turban Cowboy (DVS)

Family Guy

After befriending a Muslim man, Peter becomes interested in Islamic culture - only to become unwittingly involved in a terrorist plot to blow up a Quahog bridge.

TV-14

5:09 AM

Lost Spy, The (DVS)

Final Space

Gary and crew search Galang 22 for Little Cato, while Clarence, Fox and Ash pull off their greatest con. We learn more about Sheryl's secret past.

TV-14

6:09 AM

Full Boyle (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake intervenes in Detective Boyle's relationship; Rosa and Amy contend with a citizen who is a costumed crime-fighter; Capt. Holt has a new opponent.

TV-14

8:09 AM

Oolong Slayer, The (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake asks Holt for help keeping a case involving a serial killer under the radar. A former adversary makes demands of Amy and Rosa. Terry develops a new obsession.

TV-14

9:09 AM

Full Boyle (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Jake intervenes in Detective Boyle's relationship; Rosa and Amy contend with a citizen who is a costumed crime-fighter; Capt. Holt has a new opponent.

TV-14

10:09 AM

And the Big But (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max wants to be more than friends with her pastry school partner; Caroline remains attracted to her married teacher.

TV-14

11:09 AM

And the Icing on the Cake (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

When Deke invites Max's friends over to his dumpster house, Caroline learns a big secret about his background.

TV-14

4:09 PM

Handicap Spot, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George parks in a handicapped spot, inciting an angry mob.

TV-PG

5:09 PM

One with the Birth, The (DVS)

Friends

When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.

TV-PG

6:09 PM

One with the List, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel makes a painful discovery concerning Ross. Monica's new boss gives her an impossible task.

TV-PG

7:09 PM

One Where Eddie Moves In, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey wants to move back in with Chandler, but there's a new problem. Phoebe tapes a rock video. Ross upsets Monica.

TV-PG

8:09 PM

One with Joey's New Girlfriend, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey thinks Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.

TV-14

9:09 PM

One with Ross' Denial, The (DVS)

Friends

Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.

TV-PG

10:09 PM

One with Rachel's Dream, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel's visit to a soap opera set inspires her to dream about Joey; Chandler takes Ross on a weekend getaway after Monica cannot take time off from work.

TV-PG

11:09 PM

Talented Mr. Dingleberry, The (DVS)

American Dad

Roger becomes a marionette and injures other students to help Steve win the school talent show. Stan, Hayley and Klaus start their own local honey business.

TV-14

Wednesday, Sep 4
12:09 AM

Paranoid_Frandroid (DVS)

American Dad

Francine becomes a conspiracy theorist. Klaus & Steve help Snot pimp out his new room.

TV-14

1:09 AM

Celebration Experimentation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and the gang celebrate his birthday and he's surprised by a special guest.

TV-PG

2:09 AM

Empathy Optimization, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Dealing with an under-the-weather Sheldon is so draining for Penny, Leonard, and the gang, that they decide to treat themselves to a Sheldon-less weekend.

TV-PG

3:09 AM

Valentino Submergence, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon and Amy celebrate Valentine's Day with an episode of Fun With Flags; Leonard and Penny feel the pangs of aging; Howard and Bernadette are surprised by what they find in their hot tub.

TV-PG

5:09 AM

Raisin's Back (DVS)

New Girl

Nick tries to low-key it when Reagan moves into the loft; Schmidt goes soul searching when Cece and Winston question his love of electronic dance music.

TV-14

6:09 AM

Cece's Boys (DVS)

New Girl

Decision-making appears to be a problem for Jess on her quest for a new vice principal. Cece recruits Jess and Reagan in her search for new models; and the guys get a surprise during an enjoyable day at a spa.

TV-14

8:09 AM

Raisin's Back (DVS)

New Girl

Nick tries to low-key it when Reagan moves into the loft; Schmidt goes soul searching when Cece and Winston question his love of electronic dance music.

TV-14

9:09 AM

Cece's Boys (DVS)

New Girl

Decision-making appears to be a problem for Jess on her quest for a new vice principal. Cece recruits Jess and Reagan in her search for new models; and the guys get a surprise during an enjoyable day at a spa.

TV-14

10:09 AM

And the Married Man Sleepover (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline asks Max and Deke to join on her dinner date at Nicholas' loft to make sure she doesn't do anything she might regret. Caroline and Max also treat themselves to very special hair appointments.

TV-14

11:09 AM

And the Kilt Trip (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline tries to fit in with Max and the diner gang as they go out to get wild and crazy at the St. Patrick's Day parade but she finds herself longing to practice her former holiday traditions at the Plaza Hotel.

TV-14

4:09 PM

Glasses, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George buys effeminate glasses; dog-bite victim Elaine thinks she has rabies.

TV-PG

5:09 PM

One with the Giant Poking Device, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.

TV-PG

6:09 PM

One with Joey's New Girlfriend, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey thinks Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.

TV-14

7:09 PM

One with the Fake Party, The (DVS)

Friends

Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.

TV-PG

8:09 PM

One with the Ball, The (DVS)

Friends

Phoebe's boyfriend wants her to move in with him. Ross and Joey involve Chandler and Monica in an obsessive game.

TV-PG

9:09 PM

One Where Joey Tells Rachel, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey tells Rachel that he is in love with her.

TV-PG

10:09 PM

Last One Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.

TV-PG

11:09 PM

Shell Game (DVS)

American Dad

Steve sets out to stop Roger after he joins a mysterious order. Francine buys a new pasta sauce and the family starts changing.

TV-14

Thursday, Sep 5
12:09 AM

(You Gotta) Strike for Your Right (DVS)

American Dad

Hayley witnesses harsh working conditions at the CIA and encourages action.

TV-14

1:09 AM

Lottery Fever (DVS)

Family Guy

Peter blows his savings on lottery tickets and the family writes it off as one of his usual shenanigans until they end up millionaires. In true Griffin fashion, they can't handle the good fortune and struggle to stay grounded.

TV-14

2:09 AM

Sniffing Accountant, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry, Kramer and Newman investigate their accountant's unexplained sniffle.

TV-PG

3:09 AM

Lizard-Spock Expansion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon wants to use an alternate version of rock-paper-scissors to help resolve conflicts. A girl Wolowitz has a major crush on falls for Leonard.

TV-PG

6:09 AM

Socalyalcon VI (DVS)

New Girl

Jess worries that Reagan, who's just returned from a business trip, is spending too much time as Nick's "girlfriend." Schmidt and Cece worry about security in their new home; and Aly tells Winston an embarrassing secret.

TV-14

8:09 AM

Rumspringa (DVS)

New Girl

Nick and Schmidt plan a relaxing day trip for Jess, who is nervous about taking over as principal, but the outing takes a surprise turn. Cece helps Winston try to finalize his divorce from Rhonda, but gets caught in the middle of a series of never-ending pranks involving him and Aly.

TV-14

9:09 AM

Socalyalcon VI (DVS)

New Girl

Jess worries that Reagan, who's just returned from a business trip, is spending too much time as Nick's "girlfriend." Schmidt and Cece worry about security in their new home; and Aly tells Winston an embarrassing secret.

TV-14

10:09 AM

And the Wedding Cake Cake Cake (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max and Caroline agree to make a wedding cake for a bride, who can't decide on what style of cake she wants or much of anything else.

TV-14

11:09 AM

And the Free Money (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline's love for horse racing gets out of hand when she and Max go to a racetrack as guests of Sophie's new bookie boyfriend.

TV-14

2:09 PM

Lip Reader, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

George enlists a lip-reader to learn why his girlfriend dumped him.

TV-PG

3:09 PM

Non-Fat Yogurt, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry and Elaine suspect Kramer's yogurt shop is causing their weight gain.

TV-PG

4:09 PM

Cigar Store Indian, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Jerry's gift to Elaine offends Elaine's friend.

TV-PG

5:09 PM

One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding, The (DVS)

Friends

Rachel is a bridesmaid at her ex-fiance's wedding. Monica and Richard's relationship is jeopardized when the subject of children is discussed.

TV-PG

6:09 PM

One with the Metaphorical Tunnel, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler wants to commit to a relationship with Janice. Phoebe poses as Joey's agent.

TV-PG

7:09 PM

One with the Giant Poking Device, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.

TV-PG

8:09 PM

One with Ross's Library Book, The (DVS)

Friends

Chandler's former girlfriend manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship.

TV-PG

9:09 PM

One Where Rachel Has a Baby Part 2, The (DVS)

Friends

The friends cause havoc in the maternity ward as Rachel begins childbirth.

TV-PG

10:09 PM

One Where Estelle Dies, The (DVS)

Friends

Ross tries to win back Rachel's job with her former fashion employer. Phoebe tries to keep Joey from learning about his agent's death; Monica and Chandler make a horrifying discovery.

TV-PG

11:09 PM

Death by Dinner Party (DVS)

American Dad

Francine's dinner party goes awry when the mysterious Dinner Party Killer threatens it and the family.

TV-14

Friday, Sep 6
12:09 AM

Never-Ending Stories, The (DVS)

American Dad

Stan finds an outlet for his boring stories while teaching young CIA cadets. Klaus becomes a hype man for a rapper.

TV-14

1:09 AM

Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q (DVS)

Family Guy

Quagmire and his friends try to talk his sister into getting away from her abusive boyfriend. But when she won't listen, they decide to take matters into their own hands.

TV-14

2:09 AM

Solder Excursion Diversion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon shocks Amy with a startling revelation after she buys him a new laptop. Meanwhile, Raj throws Leonard and Howard under the bus after they lie to their wives and sneak off to an early screening of a movie.

TV-PG

3:09 AM

Viewing Party Combustion, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

During a group get-together, a minor argument between Sheldon and Leonard turns into a heated debate, leaving the rest of the gang to choose sides.

TV-PG

5:09 AM

Fermentation Bifurcation, The (DVS)

Big Bang Theory, The

Sheldon stays behind to spend quality time with the pregnant Bernadette when the rest of the gang toddles off to a wine-tasting event where they run into Penny's former boyfriend, and Raj introduces his new girlfriend.

TV-PG

6:09 AM

Unsolvable (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

During a weekend off, Jake decides to tackle a cold case that everyone thinks is unsolvable; Amy plans a trip with Teddy; Rosa and Gina share a secret with Charles.

TV-14

8:09 AM

Tactical Village (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

All the regional precincts compete in a mandatory training course; Amy runs into an officer she used to date; Rosa is mad when Charles doesn't invite her to his wedding.

TV-14

9:09 AM

Unsolvable (DVS)

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

During a weekend off, Jake decides to tackle a cold case that everyone thinks is unsolvable; Amy plans a trip with Teddy; Rosa and Gina share a secret with Charles.

TV-14

10:09 AM

And the DJ Face (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Max is mortified when she learns the hot guy she's been spending time with is a deejay at a grocery store.

TV-14

11:09 AM

And the Old Bike Yarn (DVS)

2 Broke Girls

Caroline takes an abandoned bicycle to start a delivery service for their cupcake business but soon discovers that Max doesn't know how to ride one.

TV-14

4:09 PM

Stall, The (DVS)

Seinfeld

Elaine's toilet stall has no tissue. George acts giddy around Elaine's boyfriend.

TV-PG

5:09 PM

One with the Butt, The (DVS)

Friends

Joey gets a film role as a stand-in for Al Pacino's butt. Ross tries to be less conservative. Chandler has an affair with a married woman.

TV-14